How To Feel Great Setting A Boundary!
Setting healthy boundaries allows your true, authentic self to emerge. The more you, you become, the more joy you will begin to experience.
A clue when you need to set a boundary with someone, is when you feel the emotions, anger and frustration.
I like to keep it simple here, and any variation of those is a sign.
I bet you are thinking of someone right now you would like to set a boundary, or give feedback to!
I know you are a giver like me, and I used to struggle with boundaries because I was afraid to hurt people.
The truth is that you are not responsible for how people react.
“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” ~ Wayne Dyer
It may not seem like it, but I used to have very low self worth and lacked confidence. Because of that I would try to please people all the time.
At first, it was great, because I love to do things for people and see them happy. What I would realize over time, though, is that the relationship was one-sided, and I wasn’t getting anything back.
I was giving and giving and not receiving. That can only work for short periods of time.
The interesting thing is that when I did ask for something, especially after being a chronic giver… hell broke loose! Friends turned to the dark side and went berserk!
Ever have that happen to you!!??
Needless to say, I had to figure out better communication strategies as this was not working!
The reality is that most people skirt around boundaries and then tend to be miserable. When you discover your courage to set a boundary and maintain it, your life will change.
Not only for you, but for the people in your life. You are giving them the gift of how to better communicate with you!
Own your boundaries.
You will come to realize that most people can take a no. Sure it might cause some temporary upset and ripples. But, it won’t ruin lives. To be free, you have to come to peace with a willingness to disappoint people.
Start with baby steps. It is not your job to please everyone.
This can actually feel good, as opposed to filling you with anxiety!
While there might be times you need to be very intense with a boundary…this technique will set you up for success. Especially as most boundaries are with people close to you, friends, family, spouse, work etc….
At the core of the technique is coming from your heart. When you listen, proceed with integrity and kind assertiveness it gives you strength. Plus you teach them how to treat you.
What is a Boundary Baguette™?
It’s a technique for communication, and it’s packed like a sandwich.
Let’s take an example of a tasty baguette sandwich, french bread, fresh and delicious. The top of the sandwich is fluffy and a lot bigger than the bottom part.
Then, of course, you have the meaty, or vegan, center. With things like lettuce, tomato, cheese . . . yeah, all the GOOD and meaty stuff.
There is the big fluffy top of the baguette. You can say a lot here. them what they did right, or something positive. Build them up truthfully.
Then the middle part is where the boundary or feedback comes into play… remember the meaty part of the sandwich?
The last step is the thinner part of the Boundary Baguette. Here you end with an positive statement, like the thinner part a baguette which holds it all together.
Watch The Video Below To Hear and See My Example
Communication offered like this has a better chance of reception. The reason why is because you are taking down resistance by building them up. It can feel weird at first, and this is the strategy I used that helped me set healthy boundaries. Now I love doing it!! It’s a process to learn but The Boundary Baguette™ works!
A couple of key pointers is that when you know you need to set a boundary, be clear, calm, firm and respectful. Do it in as few words as possible and avoid justifying or apologizing.
A tiny moment of discomfort can lead to happiness sooner. Or you can let things build up. Get better with boundaries it can transform your life!
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Remember, when it comes to healthy living every little action counts, it’s like a bank account that adds up. Be kind to yourself in the process.