Is NLP Manipulating?
When I first started my studies in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and people learned about what I was doing this was a common question and assumption. The misconception is understandable with the misinformation out there, so let’s look at two ways an individual can use these tools: 1)Manipulation 2)Influence.
- What is the reason why?
- What is the motivation behind the process?
- What is the intention?
From a manipulation standpoint the intention is usually for selfish gain only, while influence on the hand is learning to influence and guide from a positive perspective to assist others in their life and choices. See the difference?
NLP is a set of powerful tools and the tools themselves aren’t manipulative. Take for example the analogy of a hammer. A hammer can either build a house or tear it down and it mainly depends upon the person and intention behind it. Does that make sense? So it is the individual behind it that makes the difference.
Your intention is massively powerful so it is important to know why you are doing what you are doing. So before you jump into a heated conversation ask yourself “what is my intention?”. One can be very positive and influential with the tools of NLP and you can learn how to let go of fears, limiting choices (NLP, MER®) which help to build rapport/communication between your unconscious and conscious mind therefore eliminating internal conflict and allowing more choice.
This actually applies to many things in life so whenever you are making choices for example to study, train or purchase products make sure these are in alignment with who you are and what you wish to achieve, that way you will have better results.
“I love it when women come up to me and tell me I’m a positive influence on their lives and the lives of their young daughters. That’s a great feeling.” (Gillian Anderson)
Photo Credit© Mimal